The ABC's of 60ish Days in Venezuela

Hello boys and girls.

I hope things aren't too terrible up there in Uncle Sam Land.  I have read a lot about our current predicament and it sounds frustrating.  But on the bright side we have playoff baseball, conference match-ups in NCAA football, NFL is 1/4 of the way down with the season, and hockey just started.  Not saying one shouldn't be aware and active in regards to the situation, but that don't let it totally ruin your day.  Lots to be thankful for, even if it is just sports.

Moving on.

After about 63 days of being here, I thought it may be fun to give you a little insight of where I'm at with living down here.  Instead of my traditional column, I'm going to write it using the alphabet as my guide (elementary teachers get excited).

Maestro, a little music to start us up please:

A - Arepas are awesome (alliteration).  The Venezuelan staple made of corn (maize) and seasonings combined with your favorite toppings can turn any down day up.   

B - Beaches.  There are some rather beautiful ones around this country and I speak from little experience.  However, even the ones people refer to as "not great" here are pretty awesome.  

C - Culture Shock.  It's real and as much as I thought I wouldn't get it I have. If you care to know what stage I'm on, hold your horses, it's coming.  

D - Dependent.  I've never felt so dependent, well since probably MS/HS.  I need friends for rides, to talk to people for me, to find me things I need, and to read things to me (when I don't have google translate handy).  Yep, I'm that guy.

E - Exchanging money.  I have never seen or completed it, but I have now.  The official rate is 6.3, but on the black market the dollar is going for 41.4 Bs.  It's crazy.  I don't know how some citizens can do it with inflation this high.  Speaking of that, I need to exchange because I have about $48 dollars to my name right now.  

F - Farmers Market.  It's awesome, tons of fresh fruits and veggies and manageable price-wise.  Plus, you can drink coconut water with from a coconut that was just machete-ed open.  I was going to go with feral animals, but I didn't want to depress my PETA readers.  

Just add water.  No, I'm serious.  

G - Gym.  I have never seen anything like it.  Typically packed due to its small square footage, it is usually full of all the colors of the '80s neon rainbow, and smells like a beauty salon.  If a dam was leaking and needed fixing there's enough gel for that.  Only thing that is lacking there is sweat, it's a social (curl/arm) hour.  My coaching friends would crack up. 

H - Harina Pan.  If this wondrous little package is in stock at a store look out.  Between that and toilet paper, I don't know what packs the stores more full.  Not to downplay toilet paper, but toilet paper does not make arepas, so I give that the edge. .

I - Ice Cream.  It's different, maybe closer to gelato, but it is still pretty good.  My first ice cream in several months wasn't DQ, but hey, beggars can't be choosers.  Get off my case, I was a little homesick.    

It's huge, not the ice cream, but my cheesy smile. 

J - Jars.  Due to my total lack of glasses/cups (and my minimalist life hacks) I have converted jars to drinking glasses.  Nothing says classy like drinking water or booze out of an old spaghetti jar.  Yeah...

K - Kids.  This school is a very different both financially and structurally than my previous school.  The students are from vary levels of a comfortable class and present their specific challenges.  Deep down they are just like any other high school kid, trying to get away with doing as little as possible and procrastinating.  These students however, do ask a lot of questions... a lot. 

L - Lines.  Take Walmart lines, subtract half the cashiers and add about 45 mins to an hour.  Some people take the liberty of enjoying a drink and a snack while waiting.  I usually just people watch, and wonder how in the hell is this taking so long.  

M - Mobile phone.  I thought some people in states were bad, but I did not expect to see many situations I have here.  Workers using phones on the job, people using their phones (instead of their eyes) as a map, people at the gym texting or calling between sets and parents using their phones during our principal's presentation.  Technology is loved.  

N - Negotiation Phase.  That's my phase of culture shock and I'm constantly fighting frustration, anger, and confusion over cultural differences.  I'm definitely not saying people here are bad or negative, it's just what I'm going through.  

O - Obstruction.  My colleague Leo put it best, "You can't go further than 5o yards without hitting one of these speed bumps." Pro- speeds down, Con- car sickness and car issues.  

P - Pancakes.  A few friends and I went to a place that had real pancakes.  Not quite like back home (syrup was honey), but the Nutella, carmel, and whipped cream made for a great cheat meal.  

Glorious!!! But I couldn't even finish them.

Q - Questions.  My friends (especially the local ones) think I ask a ton of questions.  I confess I do.  I've always been a big question guy.  I like to know why things are the way they are and what caused them.  But I don't extend meetings or pester with my questions (I hated that in college).  I also ask things like, "What is this person saying or what do I say back?"  Or something as simple as, "What is that (called)?"

R - Roadside cafe/shops.  Driving and need coffee or food? Pull over.  These little stores have some really tasty food and drink with a tons of condiments and Venezuelan flare.  Also, you can be like Anthony Bourdain and sit on plastic chairs and eat like he does in his worldly travels.  

S - Sports.  They are much different then the states, not that it is good or bad.  Three days a week and only one competition.  Our softball team won the lone tournament, so that was cool.  It was a paradigm shift for me for sure.  

T - Traffic.  Turn signals aren't needed just a (sometimes) courtesy wave or point and go for it.  Sometimes just go for it like a video game.  I would like to see the VE version of the drivers manual in regards to order of turning or right of way.      

U - Umbrellas.  I don't think I have ever used one since my mom made me walk with one to school once (that may not be true Mom, but I think I remember it).  I never needed one or thought it was too dorky to use.  Not here.  When the valve of the heavens opens up you grab an umbrella and duck and cover.  Monsoon's up in here.  

V - Verification.  When signing big, important documents here you get to stamp both thumbs and sometimes your remaining fingers.  I don't know why, but I think its cool.  But that's coming from the guy that made a self portrait using only his number.  

Round one: picture and finger prints. 

Kelley demonstrating round 2: signature more prints.

W - What happened to my hair?  Every time I go into a new store or anywhere outside the (three places I go to buy food/goods) they always reference my much shorter hair and comment on it.  It's cool, I can deal with it.  I just need to improve my Spanish so I can tell some tall tales.  

X - Xenophobia, the irrational or unreasoned fear of that which is perceived to be foreign or strange.  Sometimes going into different areas of town at different times, or just not knowing why things are they way the are causes this.  I just thought it was a cool video game from my childhood, but it is real.  I quickly overcame it, but it did cause some thoughts at times.   

Y - Yearning.  My student must have a yearning for my courses...or they just don't listen and then ask the same question a few times even after I answer it.  OR they really want me to tell them individually.  Hmm..  

Z - Zephyr.  When the west wind picks up that usually signals rain and a heavy rain at that. It does sometimes just provide my apartment with some well needed air movement (I only have AC in my bedroom).   

Cleaning Out The Phone Photos:

Me on peace day: Give hugs, not slugs (or shells..bullets. You get the idea).  

Waiting to get our paper work done on our cedula (government ID card) and there is no AC.  

Noticed these artist names while eating black bean burgers at Dave's.  I hope the young man on the left never leaves Venezuela and tours the states.  Poor name choice bro.  

No idea.  

Well that does it for today.  I hope this was an alpha-based, educational excursion for you.  I want to wish all of you a happy October!  I wish I was getting ready to wear hoodies and eat all the great fall foods, but it's all good.

This Friday we have the parent-teacher social at a local family's home.  I have heard it's pretty upscale from the location to the food.  I'll be sure to take some pictures and provide a full report.  

Until next time,

KRS